"Bakal Besan" means future inlaws ;) 
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mom talked to Darling Da, n the next thing i know, she asked me out on Sunday to get the much awaited ring.. :) she was trying to get me buy a gold one from Golden Chance in Geylang, but i managed to bring her to SK to get the ONE.. *wink* quite sad though that we missed out on the "while stocks last" offer, or we would've gotten a much higher carat, but i hope my Darling Da is not upset over it, kan Da cayang? ;)
i was awaken by mom's voice on monday morning, to ask if i would be free dat night, coz she wanted to come over Da's house for the thingy. i was too sleepy to think dat Da wouldnt be able to make it coz she'd be attending her night classes. I was having tuition anyway... mom was thinking if we could get over before Fri, we could invite their family for Raye gathering at my place *wink-wink*!
i persuaded mom to let Da come over on dat day, without her family tagging coz like my dad said, it wouldnt be a nice feeling for their family as we haven't got over there yet. means there is still no official link or connection between us yet. old ppl would understand more of dis situation.. i just couldnt understand why mom wasnt sensitive to such feelings...
i emphatise mom over dis. i could see she was at a lost as to what to react to the present situation. at one hand, she knows im old enuff to find a partner and start a family soon. at the same time she's very very concerned that im not financially ready to commit, although i've given her a rough idea of how much i'd be able to save for marriage. wat most ppl see is dat the underlying concern of hers is dat she's too afraid to let me go. she has lost a daughter. i guess she was sooo afraid dat i would be no longer for her n dad anymore once im married, n dat Da would stop me from taking care of my parents. i was even surprised dat when mom talked to Da dat night, she mentioned dat if mom n dad were to visit Wak Satinah at JB, she wanted Da to understand dat i have to be there to drive them, even after marriage. from one perspective, the request seemed very small n petty. but when u look at my mom's perspective, she's soooo afraid dat as a son, i wouldnt do even such a thing. but it is true, like mom said, there r wives who do dat to their husband's family. but like i told mom, just becoz it happens to other family doesnt mean it'll happen to me.
the phone conversation was overall, alhamdulillah. the pleasant surprise was dat although mom was against us dating out, she even gave a chance for us all to go out together by offering to pick da up from her house if mom were to invite da to follow us to jb :) or to wherever for dat matter. hmm, mebe in future months, me n da may invite me parents out for meals at Sakura Thai, Swensons or even Samar Cafe? hehehe we'll see ;)
with all dis big hoo haa of my mom's restrictions and conditions to fulfill, Alhamdulillah, things still turned out quite well. Da has been an understanding, tolerant, accommodative n insyaAllah solehah person, it was wonderful to have met such a person whom i can be a friend with, wat more to be my future wife. me n Da agreed to my mom's request to have the wedding insyaAllah only in June 2006. she also agreed to my mom's specific requests dat she's mentioned in the short phone conversation. i deeply appreciate the kind understanding dat Da's been expressing, n i really appreciate the understanding and support dat she's been giving me for the recent emotional days i went thru. those days were soo bad, i wouldnt want to be in such situation anymore. Thanks Da Cayang, i promise to alwiz be wif u insyaAllah *muuacks*
im anticipating wif great eagerness for Fri to come. insyaAllah i hope it'll turn to be a pleasant n meaningful one. it'll be the first time for Darling Da to meet up wif my extended paternal families, n wat better way for it to happen other than to be on one of the 2 Hari Rayas :)
Pray for us, ppl... pray dat may Allah bless us in our journey to blissful marriage, n may Allah give us the strength to go thru it n stand strong against the waves of life :)
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mom's been talking abt specific details abt our relationship n where it's heading... wat it'll be? i'll keep it posted. in the meantime, enjoy the cliffhanger: mom's going to talk to Darling Da personally on the phone to list out her "conditions", n see if Da agrees, before she says go!... :)
good luck to both of us... :)
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its abt dis wk's CSI. i pity the robber who got beaten up by the murdered child's father, for a murder he didnt commit. but heck, life is complicated.. :)
still waiting for mom to say something, n i really hope its forthcoming. everyone is feeling the strain oredi... n dat doesn't exclude me!
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mom said the "when" word. she asked me if Da knew the details of her wish to have the wedding only in June 2006, instead of Dec 2005. before dat, let me give the details of wat happened from morning till evening.
was walking wif mom to car dis morning as i was sending her to mosque. wont be fetching her back coz i was to have my 4PM Volunteer Appreciation Tea at Hotel Park Royal. Guest of Honour was Assoc/Prof Yaakob Ibrahim. mom asked if there was any signs. i told her i didnt but Da had. then she gave me her thoughts. she wanted me to have the marriage only in June 2006. she carried on somemore dat i couldnt remember, but the most significant part was in the car when she oredi accused me of not contributing my pay to her without even asking if i would! i naturally raised my voice, blaring at her dat its not even pay day yet, n mom didnt even ask me if i would give her any. i blurted to her dat i've oredi budgeted dat for her. she didnt sound convinced n said how much would i save then if i were to give her? she even exclaimed dat id be really crazy to have the marriage at the end of dis yr coz she die die believe i wont have the money. i asked her if she were to think id be soo bad a son not to think of her. she said she had considered me not a good son anymore, since the time i defied her wish n started a relationship wif first my ex, then my ex-colleague(when we didnt even start anything) n now Da. mothers, in a fury, would blurt abt almost anything and everything, accusing everybody of being soo evil n bad, while she's the only angel! she mentioned she quitted her job oso becoz i didnt fetch her anymore when i started teaching at Yuying. she said i didnt pity her to fetch her when she's soo tired from working, n since she's facing stress at work n at home, she might as well resign. i remained silent, coz i know watever i said wont count. by then, cik som oredi boarding the car. mom only said the last words as she alighted in front of the mosque. she asked me to think abt it. i told her, its her wish, up to her, i dont have anything to say.
met Da in the afternoon, n told her abt wat happened. we oredi discussed over it last night. i knew i've made her feel sooo sad n bad. it came to a point dat i felt exactly like i was 1 yr ago, when i was soo torn btw the 2 sides dat i decided leave both. Alhamdulillah Da was very accommodative, n willing to wait up till next yr as long as i'll still be wif her, n by her side. i decided to make it a point to visit Da at home every weekend as long as i'm free, n spend more time wif her.
so when Da found out the details dis afternoon, Alhamdulillah she was ok. im sad she had to cry buckets last night, hence i guess she should've felt quite numb just now. we agreed to look on the bright side n plan far, to also include plans for our new house, so dat we could move into OUR OWN house insyaAllah by the time we get married.
later dis evening, mom asked if i've oredi told Da the details. i replied wif a yes, n she asked if her side would be ok. i just told her "should be ah". then she asked when her side wanted us to come over. i told mom, "they're not giving us any dates for us to come over, they're waiting for u, mom..." our talk ended there. we'll see if there'll be any updates..
to my Darling Da: thanx dear, for sounding soo happy when i told u abt it dis evening. thanx for willing to accommodate wif watever conditions thrown at us. i'll continue praying dat Allah will help us in all the things we do, insyaAllah. :)
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clearly mom's not convinced i'd be financially ready by dec 2005. got word from dad dis afternoon dat mom wants the wedding to be held in june 2006. news came like a double edged sword. on one hand, i'm quite sure she's ok abt me wif Da. on the other, i hate it coz she's just soooo difficult to be convinced. so frustrated dat mom still has to rule the world on dis one. but im just a son, the last remaining child of hers... but she's driving me crazy..
mom has always been the more vocal, my dad being the passive one not supporting any sides, or at most, support my mom ah. like ive told my friends before, if dad has to share the same house, wat more the same bed every day, how can he not support her ideas? i oso think my dads not convinced as well.
i know, im a stubborn, unappreciative child. ppl say u wont appreciate ur own mom until they're no longer alive. true to the bone, but at dis moment, i just wish dat my mom wont be sooo difficult...
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body wasnt feeling well yesterday. slept the entire afternoon, oso took panadol before sleeping at night. dunno y, mebe i fasted for the day but didnt drink enuff fluid the day before.
mom asked me last night at 2345. she wanted to know if there was any outcome to the istikharah. i told her there still wasnt any, but had a vague one, like an image of Da in my house. then mom asked to check out wif ustaz Azman wat would be the best next step to take. i told her abt the kind of sign ppl get, dat signs come not only in a form of dream, but like actions, and environment, and feelings abt the whole situation. n i told my mom i'd keep praying till i get something ah..
as i was walking twds my room, she asked me for my next step. then the conversation resumed.. i told her the ball is in her court now, i let her decide wat to do next ah. to put it short, mom's worried dat i may not have enuff money by the time i get married dis yr end. i tried to convince her wif watever plans i've made. alhamdulillah watever qsns she popped up, i managed to counter her confidently, reassuringly and gently, without the need to break into any misunderstanding. oso in her mind was the "dulang2" thingy, the gifts dat come wif marriage. she suggested a songket, something quite expensive but traditional and lasting. i told mom Da oredi got herself a pair of lace kurung, the muslimah kind. for dis part, i sensed mom was worried i had to spend lotsa money on dis, but i reassured mom, if we can get a pair of ladies shoes for abt $150, then why go for a $300 one? in other words, y go for a 6-star item when we can be contented wif a 4-star one?
mom revealed she planned to come over Da's side, if i got my dream, or if she feels fine wif it, to pass a ring to Da, as a sign of us being serious abt marrying Da. its not an engagement, but more like a mini one. then i told mom we oredi budgeted for it. i went to the extend of encouraging her to ask her friends or anyone she knows to ask how much their children spent on marriage preps, if the info i convey to her was not convincing enuff. :) it seems she lost out on dis one coz i dont think she has any friends whose children just got married ;).
overall, alhamdulillah im glad the conversation was a peaceful and constructive one. i believe i've won more points than mom. before i went into my room, i parted off wif reiterating dat the ball's in her court now, n while i keep praying, its up to her to decide wat to do at the moment. Allah's blessing depends on parents blessings, so i told her i'd not move on till she gives the green light.
we'll see how it'll be in the days to come...
to Da, remain as strong as u have been. i can sense ur frustration in ur recent blog entry, but alhamdulillah im glad u've been there wif me. :) stay cool, sayang! *muuacks*
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i know it can be frustrating to play the waiting game, but i have faith that the answer is coming. Allah will not test His servant something which the servant cannot carry. don't worry, u'll be the first to know of my "dream" even if i have to call u in the middle of the night! ;)
Pray for me, k Sayang... n to all readers, pray for us too! thanx :)
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Yea No. 1: Darling Da finally renewed her Provisional Driving Licence (PDL). should resume her long-due lessons very soon! i pray to Allah may He bless her wif wealth and health so dat she'll be able to complete her lessons and pass her driving practical test before her final theory expires. it'll also be exciting if insyaAllah she'll be able to drive her parents while i drive mine to meet up at Decorama to finalise wif deco! :)
Yea No. 2: finally got myself a pair of Giodano jeans, after jean-less for a few yrs now. just didnt get the right cutting, or should i say, didnt have anyone to accompany me to get one! ;) salesperson asked me to wash it first coz it'll naturally shrink a bit. then it can be sent to any Giodano outlet along wif the receipt to get it altered for free. hmm, how am i gonna wash it at home without making my mom furious dat im spending when im supposed to be saving?? ;)
Thanks Da for the time today, i've had a great time being wif u, and a great thanks for tolerating my occasional, or should i say, frequent crapping from me thruout the time! *wink*
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i could feel the atmosphere when i reached school; it felt like everyone's excited to meet one another, to catch up wif things, n to embark on new activities. the same went for my friends, since we began the only lesson of the day, i felt glad to meet my fellow colleagues, n to chat up wif them. all had smiles on their faces.
however, i didnt have the time to sit down for a cup of tea n chat up wif the rest of them. particularly my guy friends, Fazli, Faizal, Lye Peng, Lewin and Mahathir, i hope to be able to meet them for a drink dis Wed afternoon. n we had some early plans to play soccer after class dis wed since we'll be finishing by 3.30pm.
oredi i've been bombarded by qsns pertaining to the pics Lye Peng saw in my blog, and the wallpaper pic on my hp. n i guess i should be ready for more "bombardment" these few days! ;) but im glad im being asked. to me, it shows their concern n interest in being my buddies.
oh ya, went out wif Darling Da to survey Solitaire rings from the many reputable jewellery shops in Tampines Mall. for the first time, i discovered abt the different carats of diamonds. and for the first time, i understand the various differences of 0.11 to 0.34 carats. also the way the diamond is cut determines how the shine will be. some even has the "rainbow" effect. Darling Da fell in love wif one at the last shop we dropped by. although we went around the same shop looking for other types of diamond rings, she ended up putting on dat ring dat caught her eyes the first time she saw it. i could see the happiness in her cute sweety face as she tried it on. i oso like the one she chose. its very very nice, n it looked perfect on her finger. but as usual, being a guy, i had no preference, as long as my Darling Da is happy wif her selection, im oso happy wif it.
we couldnt buy the ring yet, coz i have to wait for dat "dream" before i can inform my mom n proceed wif the next step... dad told me to wait for mom's further instruction before buying one, although she may not want to follow when i get one ;)
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me parents n i were at IMM yesterday afternoon to get booster antenna when we passed by some furniture shops displaying bedroom set. one set caught my eye, it as very wooden concept, dat came wif a sidetable. cost abt $988. wat caught my attention more was the wooden sliding-door wardrobe designed similar to the bed n the sidetable. as usual, the $988 price tag did not include the wardrobe, giving the illusion of a cheap package. then my dad mentioned his time to get such stuffs is over, its my time instead. my mom added saying its up to me wat to get wif the "hantaran" money i'll give Da insyaAllah. i told mom she oredi got those stuffs, so not to worry ah :)
later at night, mom insisted i should only get the sign from Allah thru dream. she said only when dat happen then i can proceed. i believe Allah would give signs not just by dream but by feelings n things dat happen around us. but wat can i say, Allah's blessing depends on parents blessings, so i pray Allah will give me the sign thru dat medium ah ;).
i asked my dad dis morning for any latest updates on wat my mom commented on the thingy. found out my mom was considering to give her a ring if things go thru. i told dad we've oredi planned n budgeted for dat. oso found out mom consulted Wak Satinah. dis time i appreciated my aunt's contribution. she told mom to let me carry on wif it, afterall, age is catching up on me, n its time i start something.. ;)
mom's biggest worry is dat she's afraid i wont be giving her money when i start saving for marriage. i assured my dad i've oredi budgeted my contribution to mom on top of my savings, n i'll still carry on paying her CPF for the study loan so dat she doesnt have to worry abt her contribution on house paying..
Alhamdulillah, all seems to go smoothly. may Allah bless us all, insyaAllah.
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